Daily Archive 12/09/2007

Roger Ebert Sucks

posted by Crazed on 2007/12/9 (Rants)

I just stumbled on something humorous.

A darker, deeper fantasy epic than the Rings trilogy, The Chronicles of Narnia or the Potter films. It springs from the same world of quasi-philosophical magic, but creates more complex villains and poses more intriguing questions. Roger Ebert, in regards to the movie The Golden Compass

You, sir, are a buffoon, a baboon, and a bassoon. Even setting aside the fact that The Lord of the Rings books are vastly better than the movies, I don't think a movie has been made in the last two decades which has surpassed the grandeur, the cultural impact, and the awe of Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Some wanna-be fantasy series written by some lunatic more obsessed with inserting his views into his work rather than writing his work is nothing compared to J.R.R. Tolkien.

Although Tolkien may have been a Catholic, he was consistent in maintaining that his work was no allegory (literal allegory, anyway (if there can be such a thing)) to the events the Bible teaches happened. Now, obviously, a few views slipped in (such as monotheism ("gods" is actually a misnomer applied to angels in Middle-Earth) and absolute truth), but he's not saying "Aragorn is Christ the King, Sauron is the devil (Actually, Melkor, a egocentric fallen angel never seen in the LotR books nor the movies, was the devil. Surprised?) and Gandalf is another facet of Christ." He would be annoyed if someone said that, because that's not how it's meant to be taken.

Now, however, the goof who wrote Northern Lights, the book on which the movie The Golden Compass is based, has supposedly written a series of childrens' books. Is that so, Mr. Goof? Let's take a look at a quotation from the book.

There are churches there, believe me, that cut their children too, as the people of B. did - not in the same way, but just as horribly. They cut their sexual organs, yes, both boys and girls; they cut them with knives so that they shan't feel. That is what the church does, and every church is the same: control, destroy, obliterate every good feeling...

What in the name of sanity is that doing in a book which Wikipedia defines as "primarily marketed to young adults"? Your answer is as good as mine. If you rolled Rush Limbaugh, Hillary Clinton and Al Sharpton in a ball, that sphere of hideousness would not come close to reaching the levels of bias as Mr. Goof so smugly contains.

So, in conclusion, screw you, Roger Ebert.

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