Namco Needs a Cold Shower

posted by Zara on 2007/12/11 (Rants)

If you're not familiar with Namco, then I salute you. They're the ones behind the series of popular fighting games known as Soul Calibur where massive breasts attached to women with swords fight to the death. Now don't get me wrong, they're great games. They have beautiful graphics and great gameplay value and managed to create Nightmare, one of the coolest video game characters there is, but there's one thing that's always irritated me about their games, and with my exploration of their newest in the series Soul Calibur 4, I figured something needed to be said. See, there's a very specific reason why these games are as popular as they are, aside from the good gameplay, and I'll summarize it in a single word:

Boobs.


Seriously. Boobs. And I'll prove it to you. Out of seven confirmed female characters already in Soul Calibur 4, I've noticed that four of them seem to share something in common. So I made a little picture to show what I found. Can you see what it is?

Booooooobs


Judging from the pictures, Cassandra (bottom left) is the smallest of the four, and hers look like triple Ds. Hell, it took me a full five minutes of looking at Sophitia (top right) before I realized she had tears in her eyes, probably crying over the immense back-pain she's being put through. Now, I'm used to female characters in video games being oversized and underdressed, but in all honesty, Namco has taken it to an absurd level with Soul Calibur 4.

As an example, let's take a look at Ivy's ever expanding bust size over the years. These are her versions from each of the Soul Calibur games leading up until 4.

Whaaaa?


Her newest boobjob has rendered her mammaries large enough to warrant their own zip code. Not to mention her costume somehow leaving her with less armor than actual underwear would. I don't think they realize that there's a fine line between sexy and laughable, and if they do, then they're not even trying to take their own characters seriously anymore.

Yet at the same time, Namco created a new character for the game, named Hilde, who sports a very heavy and very conservative set of armor. Normally, I'd say this is a good thing, but it's not. By balancing out the scales with this seemingly "unsexy" woman, Namco thinks that gives them permission to inflate the chest size of everyone else in the game by 300%, and reduce their clothing to be as skintight as possible or just plain ridiculous.

Okay, so that last one was a guy, but still. Voldo's costumes have always been stupid. And with stupid costumes comes a price far, far worse than anything we could have prepared for.

Cosplay.

Seriously, Namco, stop designing your games with your penises.

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Comments

Hrithik - 2012/12/17
Swarm is a great new abstract sarttegy game. Easy to learn with only one piece like checkers, but different spaces allow you to stack and unstack your pieces for more power. Different boards will be available which will add different spaces and change the strategies. Like chess and checkers, no two games will be the same. Currently there are 2, 3, and 6 player boards available. More info can be found at the links given. There will be a Swarm tournament at the PentaCon convention in Fort Wayne IN on Nov 7th, and 8th.

Kalyx - 2008/5/2
LOL Wait til you see Talim in her see-thru pants!

Josh - 2008/4/25
I totally 100% agree with you its not even sexy anymore is just like you said its Laughable!

Some1 - 2008/4/14
Instead of digging after games, why don’t you say something about girls who does those Plastic surgeries in real life making their breasts larger than their heads, at lease ivy has her real breast in the game life (or whatever it is).


I don’t believe that I’m losing my time to make a comment for this.!!!!

Crazed - 2008/4/2
"There is nothing sad about sexuality, but violence is."

There's just as much wrong with perverse sexuality as there is violence.

Zara - 2008/4/2
Okay, let me first point out that I am in no way saying that these are bad games. They're great fighting games, some of the best ones on the market. Secondly, I am in no way a puritan. I don't get "irritated about sexual images" at all, but I get irritated when it becomes this utterly blatant. Yes, sex sells and is the norm for many forms of entertainment, but this is basically on par with the Dead or Alive Volleyball games. It's sex with a gameplay mechanic backing it up. I don't care if the characters have big breasts and revealing clothes, but the point they're at now is just absurd. See, the problem I have is that they spend so much time trying to make the game as realistically looking as possible, then go ahead and do this. If they had taken a more stylistic approach, I probably wouldn't care. That's one reason why I don't rag on anime women for having ridiculously huge knockers. In my opinion, that style can pull it off. This one can't. It just looks stupid.

And where did I ever say I condone mindless violence in video games? Or does the fact that I happened to overlook the violence present in a fighting game imply that?

Finally, I'd like to point out that this post was mostly done out of good humor. I really didn't expect anyone to actually take me seriously here. I mean, for god sakes, I used the word "bazongas" to describe someone's breasts. Come on. If you're this eager to pick a fight with someone on the internet, I'd ask you please take it somewhere else.

OPEDIUS - 2008/4/1
People sure are uptight about sexuality. So what if female characters in videogames have large breasts. IT'S A VIDEOGAME!! To give these characters any sense of reality is stupid. They are not even real for God's sake! You and some others get so irritated about sexual images and such. What the hell are you people? PURITANS! There is nothing sad about sexuality, but violence is. You and a lot of others have a problem with sexual imagery, but you don't complain much about violence. THAT'S SAD!

nobody in particular - 2008/3/30
As an after thought: sorry for the Asshole who posted before me. God forbid someone would state an opinion in a mature manner.

nobody in particular - 2008/3/30
you really have point here but I don't think either Namco or the players for that matter care very much. Sex sells and sadly I think Namco will keep on doing this. Either way I myself can't wait for SC4 to come out.

**** you - 2008/3/18
what the **** is your problem i like the characters and the costums that they wear so wht if her bobs got bigger and the clothes got smaller the game is still the shit and it has the best graphics that a fighting game can have in it so shut the **** up mane not to dis what u said cause i'm not trying to do that i just think that what you are saying has nothing to do with people playing the game so stop hateing on the game and get with it for real cause soul calibur 3 was awsome and 4 is even better so get with the program and play the ****ing game and stop talking about it jack ass

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